It's barely one week into the new year, but so far bad things have been happening to me. I am REALLY REALLY REALLY stressed out right now, and because they are kind of personal, I guess I can only mention them here so people in my end of the world wouldn't know about them.
First of all, the company that I work for is currently undergoing an acquisition (i.e., my company is being bought). Well, it's supposed to be a good thing since my company is small and having a hard time getting revenue, so if another company buys us then at least we can survive longer, but the reality is that the company that is buying us is so small that we aren't sure of our future anymore. Once we are acquired, will there be lay-offs? How long can my company last under the new mother company? Because of all these uncertainties, my manager has told us to start looking for jobs a couple of months back. I love working with my coworkers and I never like switching environments, so I am having a hard time deciding what to do. Should I get a new job and leave? If I don't do it now, the job market might be bad a few months from now and then I wouldn't be able to find a job...so all these thoughts have been going on in my mind for a while now...Sigh, we had a chance to be bought by a well-known multiple billion dollar company, but luck wasn't on our side...
So, listening to my manager, I have been looking around for jobs. I spoke with a few companies, but I wasn't really interested in any of them except one. I got so far along that I actually got an offer from them, but at the time I thought the salary wasn't high enough for me to make the jump. Besides, I had doubts about whether I really qualified for the job or not (I would have to learn a lot of new things), and I didn't really feel comfortable around the employees of that company, so I declined the offer. Then the people proposed that maybe I could do part-time contracting work for them, and I thought, OK, this would just be like working on a side project, why not make some extra money? So I agreed and started doing work for them this week. Since I still have a day-time job, I can only work on their stuff at night. In the end, I work over 12 hours a day. I guess the worst part is that those people are running on tight schedules, and the developer that I have to collaborate with has strong opinions on how things should be implemented. I am under constant pressure because I am worried that I can't finish my tasks on time or the other developer might not approve of my way of doing things. Anyway, because I don't enjoy it that much, I told the CTO today that I might have to breach the contract. He sounded understanding and he asked if we could work something out, but the fact is that I feel very uncomfortable now and don't think I can continue further, yet I agreed to wait until Friday to make a final decision. I really wish that he would let me go then.
Then on the family side, my dad has been receiving government benefits, and recently the agency has conducted a review to see if my dad still qualifies for the benefits. I filled out the form (since my parents don't know English), but this kind of form is very tricky to fill out. You don't want to lie, but you can't tell them too much because they might use those facts against you and take away your benefits. Until we are acknowledged of the outcome, I would probably be worried about it. Losing cash benefit is one thing, but it would be terrible if my dad loses his medical benefits (medical expenses are super high in the U.S.), so I am stressed out over this too.
I am not religious, but I usually pray whenever I am under tremendous amount of stress. I hope everything will work out OK. God bless.
A lot of my worries are derived from money. Money might not solve all the problems in the world, but it's definitely a necessity. I know myself for one would be a lot happier if I don't have to worry about not having money or going bankrupt all the time...
First of all, the company that I work for is currently undergoing an acquisition (i.e., my company is being bought). Well, it's supposed to be a good thing since my company is small and having a hard time getting revenue, so if another company buys us then at least we can survive longer, but the reality is that the company that is buying us is so small that we aren't sure of our future anymore. Once we are acquired, will there be lay-offs? How long can my company last under the new mother company? Because of all these uncertainties, my manager has told us to start looking for jobs a couple of months back. I love working with my coworkers and I never like switching environments, so I am having a hard time deciding what to do. Should I get a new job and leave? If I don't do it now, the job market might be bad a few months from now and then I wouldn't be able to find a job...so all these thoughts have been going on in my mind for a while now...Sigh, we had a chance to be bought by a well-known multiple billion dollar company, but luck wasn't on our side...
So, listening to my manager, I have been looking around for jobs. I spoke with a few companies, but I wasn't really interested in any of them except one. I got so far along that I actually got an offer from them, but at the time I thought the salary wasn't high enough for me to make the jump. Besides, I had doubts about whether I really qualified for the job or not (I would have to learn a lot of new things), and I didn't really feel comfortable around the employees of that company, so I declined the offer. Then the people proposed that maybe I could do part-time contracting work for them, and I thought, OK, this would just be like working on a side project, why not make some extra money? So I agreed and started doing work for them this week. Since I still have a day-time job, I can only work on their stuff at night. In the end, I work over 12 hours a day. I guess the worst part is that those people are running on tight schedules, and the developer that I have to collaborate with has strong opinions on how things should be implemented. I am under constant pressure because I am worried that I can't finish my tasks on time or the other developer might not approve of my way of doing things. Anyway, because I don't enjoy it that much, I told the CTO today that I might have to breach the contract. He sounded understanding and he asked if we could work something out, but the fact is that I feel very uncomfortable now and don't think I can continue further, yet I agreed to wait until Friday to make a final decision. I really wish that he would let me go then.
Then on the family side, my dad has been receiving government benefits, and recently the agency has conducted a review to see if my dad still qualifies for the benefits. I filled out the form (since my parents don't know English), but this kind of form is very tricky to fill out. You don't want to lie, but you can't tell them too much because they might use those facts against you and take away your benefits. Until we are acknowledged of the outcome, I would probably be worried about it. Losing cash benefit is one thing, but it would be terrible if my dad loses his medical benefits (medical expenses are super high in the U.S.), so I am stressed out over this too.
I am not religious, but I usually pray whenever I am under tremendous amount of stress. I hope everything will work out OK. God bless.
A lot of my worries are derived from money. Money might not solve all the problems in the world, but it's definitely a necessity. I know myself for one would be a lot happier if I don't have to worry about not having money or going bankrupt all the time...
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